


Formal Expressions

by tangablesadness



Series: Leaving [3]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Canon - Manga, Canonical Character Death, Caring Sebastian, Comfort/Angst, Eventual Romance, Final installment in series, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Nightmares, One-Sided Relationship, POV Sebastian, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-08-21 23:45:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8264831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangablesadness/pseuds/tangablesadness
Summary: “It's being here now that's important. There's no past and there's no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can't relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don't know if there is one.”― George Harrison From Sebastian's point of view.





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> So here we are, the final story! Thank you so much for taking the time out to click on my story and I hope you enjoy!

He never understood it.

He considered his past life monotonous, yet here he was reveling in routine.

Softly pulling back the curtains the butler murmured his good morning and began to set off on the necessary spiel of information.

Laughed quietly to himself the demon watched as the young man curled up deeper in his burrito of blankets.

This constance was oddly entertaining.

He noticed it when he took interest in small things like cooking and cleaning. He enjoyed quiet conversations of nothing with the Young Master and teaching the Lady chess. But his desire became especially noticeable that when even during action and destruction he had at times yearned to return to the peace.

It was somewhat unsettling, but he just excepted it as every other change.

Sebastian leaned over the lump of cloth to shake the human until the boy bolted straight up. Slightly startled he took a step back, alarm pricking his senses as he saw the state his master was in. Purple bags sunk deeply under his eyelids, contrasting starkly to the paled skin. The Earl's hair was matted with sweat and blood. The butler's eyes widened as he saw the deep scratches marring the boys scalp and neck, dark bruising accompanying them along the collarbone and also along his wrists.

"Young master?"

The boy didn't even look at him, glazed eyes staring off into the distance. Cautiously he stepped over, reaching out he pushed Ciel's bangs away from his face, pausing when the teen flinched. Sebastian looked at him curiously as his bruised voice spoke his question.

"What will you do after our contract is over?"

Bewildered Sebastian contemplated his young master, but refused to answer since more important things needed to be attended to. A infection on those wounds would be quite an ordeal indeed. So he laid the young man back down and set off to cancel today's activities and warm a glass of milk. But just down the hallway he stopped, eyebrows furrowing in concentration.

The truth is, he didn't know.

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He listened softly as the Earl hummed.

The garden of silver roses were beautiful, the warm sunlight danced off it's shiny petals creating a sea of waving glitter around the courtyard. The sky was a beautiful shade of sapphire blue, standing out against the yellow ball of sun. The table his master sat at was intricately carved, every niche telling a different story. Sebastian observed his young master sitting in peace, navy blue hair dancing in the breeze, aqua eyes staring off into nowhere exuding serenity. Long fingers attached to thin wrists were clasped together, a sharp chin rested on top. The butler stood in slight surprise as the boy's pleasant voice sang the lines.

"You're a bow and arrow,  
a broken guitar,  
as the rain water washes away you are.  
We go over the mountains and under the stars,  
we go over the mountain and under the stars.  
Won't you fold my hands over my heart.  
And I want you to close my eyes when it grows dark."

He shut his eyes, focusing his senses on the sound as the Earl repeated the hymn once more. Once he was finished he couldn't help but give commendation, for he did sing beautifully.

"What had started this leisure? You should really continue, maybe add this to your lessons?"

"No."

The demon blinked in surprise as the masters eyes darkened with restrained sadness.

At the butlers look he continued.

"The interest was by no means on my part. When I was abducted we were forced to share small cages with each other, I met a companion."

He flashed his butler a photo of a twelve year old girl. Her straight hair was a golden color, falling down her back in a river. She had bangs with two longer strands framing her face. She was facing away from the camera casting a look over shoulder her olive eyes dancing with mischief, looking like she was in a joke you never could understand.

"I received the picture from her family after I found them. She was more resilient then I, always looking out for me. She was so skinny she could slip through the cage bars and steal food from the main house to feed us. She protected all of us as best as she could from lashings, her wit and smarts always infuriated our captors. She saved my life more than once."

The last Phantomhive thumbed the photo.

"She always sang little songs to distract the younger kids. But that one was shared between us, she loved my voice so she usally made me help her in her music."

He pressed his lips together.

"Serenity's songs was her defining attribute, so I think that it should die along with her."

Sebastian stood shell shocked at the admission. In rare times he had mentioned past experiences with family, but never had he told the butler anything about that month outside of revenge. Excusing himself he left towards the gardens, returning with one hand behind his back. Softly he padded over to where the Earl sat placing a fiery orange Dahlia beside the photo.

"She is beautiful young master."

A single blue orb shot upward when he recognised the meaning.

"Why?"

Sebastian just smiled mysteriously in return and left to carry on with his other duties.

He could feel Ciel's eyes on him till he disappeared.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He stood behind the irritable Earl as he spoke with a employee. It had been harsh commands and bratty behavior today and it was grating on the demon's self control.

"Sebastian hurry up!"

Oh how easy it would be to destroy him.

"What is this?"

That white neck, so slender, marred with bruises as the demon clutched tighter around it.

"Inept fool!"

Those lithe arms, how easy it would be to rip them from their sockets. That pleasurable crunch as the veins tore, the fountain of scarlet liquid that would spurt out.

"I want something sweet."

That slashing tongue, never to be used again as he cuts it from it's cavern.

"Disgusting fiend!"

That condescending blue eyeball popping as he chewed it.

"Are you sure he would be competent enough to achieve something this complicated? He is just a measly servant."

Sebastian pleasantly glared at the other man. Ah mortals, such proud imbeciles. He wish he could be rid of them.

"You dare insult my butler's intelligence? You fool, the Phantomhive servants are at a level higher than you can hope to reach. The files are done, get back to work. Sebastian I trust you can handle this?"

But he supposed humans did have some redeeming qualities.

"Yes my Lord."

Sebastian smiled, pleased.

"But quite taking your damn time!"

Where was he? Oh those fragile ankles, just to snap them....

Quietly the demon continued to seethe.

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Sebastian shut the office door behind him, walking stiff with shock.

When had everything gone to hell?

'I never expected to live this long.'

Never had he seen someone so adamant to die. It is human nature to crave survival, yet he continued to bring up the topic. The boy---adult was something else entirely.

'Do you wish to tear me apart?'

After all this time his master did not trust him. He understood that it would be stupid to care for your demise, but he had taken every blow, soothed every nightmare, did everything for him to the upmost degree.

But he guessed there was the damning fact he was a demon. He has tricked the boy, continues to do so but never had he caused serious harm since their early days.

'I am trapped within the position of a puppet, endangering everyone around me constantly. I risk ruining my fiancé, and damning her heirs with my blood. I cannot ever imagine letting myself have a companion other than you when death is serving me tea.'

He thought the boy enjoyed life. He knew the setbacks but Ciel was the boy who reached out to demon from that cage. He did not hide. He did not runaway. He was the most arrogant foolish brat that persevered through death and doom. It was why the demon grudgingly respected him.

But really, was he just oblivious to it all? He never doubted that he did not know everything, but how much has he missed?

'My children, I will be taken away from them by a brutal death just as my father was from me."

He should not feel any remorse, any guilt, the boy knew what he was signing up for after all.

But had he really? Well Sebastian was prepared for the wait, but he suspected the Earl did not expect to live past 14. Grimacing he paused at the window, looking through another one facing off to the right he gazed into the office.

Why?

He watched the Earl as he laid his head back and sunk down in his chair.

He could just end it, fulfill his masters desire like the perfect servant.

But what did he have to go back to?

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    He raced down the hallway, a calm smile on his face. The master had been kidnapped once again and he was off to a rescue. Grabbing his silverware from his hidden pocket he threw it at the five men shooting at him, as he turned on his heel he heard the familiar screams and crunch as they made their mark. Shooting up wards he landed on the top of the grand staircase. Running to the huge oak doors he grabbed the handle ready to shoot in. He hastily ripped it open,

only to find seven dead men and the Earl of Phantomhive straightening his jacket.

"Hello Sebastian, I'm finished here."

What?

The teen had the audacity to smirk at his bewilderment.

"I traded in some of my free time to fit in a combat class. This routine does get boring after a while, plus I am immensely less sore with a few less bruises."  
He walked past his demon gliding out the door, Sebastian following numbly on his heels.

Well that was anti-climatic. He couldn't help but feel strangely useless.

But the boy could do fine without him.

He didn't need to be around him all the time.

Thinking back to the Earl's hopeless expression, the gears in his mind slowly started rolling.

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It was nights like these that it was hard to control himself.

Ciel was generally untouchable, a cold presence radiating cruelty that screamed to stay at least five feet away from him. It was easy to not think of the soul hidden underneath that shell when it was so damn infuriating.

But this was not how the Earl generally was. Wrapped up in blankets, blood and tears staining the pristine cloth, he looked so deliciously lost. The anguish was clear on his twisted expression as he cried out for help.

His butler aesthetic told him that he should feel remorse for how he was salivating over the boy, but it was hard to think of anything besides the scent of that soul marinating.

He debated waking him up, his butler self against his natural demon personality. Oh how amazing it would be to stand there and listen to the boys screams, but at the sight him  unconsciously reopening one of his scabs the servant forced himself to walk over and shake the Phantomhive.

He continued to stare at him in bloodlust, aching to just take a taste, before he headed out to warm some milk. He watched in hunger as a fragile wrist peaked out to grab the cup, how delicious it would be to chew on that bone.

But then Ciel surprised him. With doe blue eyes softening he looked over the rim of the glass, a small genuine smile pulling at his lips.

"Thank you."

That brought him out of the darkness.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He looked around at the reception, serving another guest a glass of champagne. The attendance was glowing with happiness, especially the ever so proud Midfords. He watched in amusement as Aunt Francais scolded her son for bawling on Elizabeth's wedding dress. Everyone was here, for both Lady and Lord had many aquaintances. He spied out the Prince and his butler speaking happily to Lau and Ran Mao. He saw the Queens butlers huddled in the left corner, Earl Grey effectively draining the menu. The Queen herself even attended he ceremony, though left soon after she gave her good graces.

But where was the groom?

Scanning the room he wondered was the unpredictable Earl could possibly be up to now. Maneuvering over to Mey-Rin he whispered about his absence, and after hearing her affirmative 'yes sir!' he stared combing the room. In a few minutes he knew that the Earl was not within the massive ballroom so he headed out to the Phantomhive gardens, making a beeline to where the silver roses grew. Sure enough there stood his target.

Sebastian stood and stared, satisfied just to take in the picturesque scene. Ciel stood, looking directly at him over the bed of glowing roses. The moonlight played off his hair, tipping his black strands with silver. His sharp jawline was set proudly atop his slim neck, with pale skin glowing in the dark giving him a ethereal shine against his black suit. His eyes were the most interesting, with his eyepatch removed two mismatched orbs bled through the night, framed by a forest of dark lashes.

Sebastian realised that Ciel was beautiful.

Of course he always knew his young master was aesthetically pleasing, it was shown in the other humans lust as they stared at him. But this was something personal, something that clicked, like the day the boy first turned his back on a happy life for revenge. But now he looked ever so peaceful, and though odd it was for a demon, it pleased him.

"Young master?" He called out over the wind. "What are you doing out here?"

He did not miss the flicker of sadness in his facial expression.

"You do not want this." Not a question, a statement. His eyes narrowed when the Earl's gaze finally darted away.

"Why? Lady Elizabeth is physically stunning is she not?"

He started walking across the distance to his master.

"She is." He calmly responded.

Step.

"You seem quite fond of her, are you not?"

Step.

"I am."

Step.

"Do you think she will not be a good wife?"

Step.

"She is more qualified then anyone else."

Pause.

"Then why my lord?"

He could see the Earl swallow.

"I do not desire her."

When he saw the demons confusion he spelt it out clearly.

"I am a homosexual Sebastian."

The butler felt everything go quiet as everyone fix together. The way he would dress as a child, never once needing a talk on how to treat women, that man he 'spoke' with on one of their missions.

He supposed it was inevitable though. Ciel Phantomhive was the king of debauchery, he reveled in manipulation, smiled at murder, thrived in darkness. Why wouldn't he take part in something society detests.

Step.  
He cleared the distance looking directly down on his lord.

"Shall you have a moment of freedom before you are shackled?"

He smirked at the Earl's nod.

This mortal, was otherworldly. Cruel enough to make angels cry, yet his soul radiated of purity. He protected his sweet wife yet murdered a mansion of children. He was in the limbo of gray.

A fine demon companion.

So Sebastian smiled as he traced that porcelain cheek and leaned down to connect their lips.

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	2. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got this done. Phew. The procrastination is real. You all have my lovely editor (and amazing writer) Evans3 to thank for this. She has been helping me fix up a lot of mistakes and give me ideas on how to better my story. Just one more chapter after this!

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As he knocked the Phantomhive unconscious and swept the moment from his mind, he wondered if it was him or Sebastian who ached.

 

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He was a demon.

"Mister Sebastian! Something is wrong!"

He loved chaos.

"Sebastian, I think I charcoaled tonight's ham."

He found living in this manor quite intriguing.

"Mister Se-Sebastian, the new tea set has been broken!"

But with that said,

"Ho Ho Ho"

his aesthetic did not appreciate the mix of the two.

But if anything he was one hell of a butler, so he fixed the messes of the servants and silently prayed _(this is what he was reduced to)_ that the master would hire more competent servants.

 

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He watched as the now nineteen Earl stepped into the lavish room, done up to the hilt for his birthday.

Maybe it was just the nostalgia getting to him, but he swore the Phantomhive  appeared shorter as he ate his cake. It was true that compared to a demon's sense of time, a human's lifespan was just a flash.

He could especially identify with that notion at the moment.

The Earl had a condescending smile on his face, the adorned smirk almost appearing childishly mischevious.

"You do not know the meaning of simple do you?"

Nostalgia hit him as he thought of a mixed culture Halloween party of far away.

It was the biggest difference from a demon to a mortal. His life spanned on into the abyss, he saw everything, learned everything, boredom was a constant. Humans lifespan were endlessly amusing, each moment filled with meaning and each thought constantly changing the world around them, but their moment on earth was short

As Ciel stood up at his full height Sebastian wondered when the young man before him got so tall.

_Oh so short._

"How have your dance lessons been going?"

Because there would be a time when he would finally get his soul. The amazing palate exploding across his tongue, filling his every desire and stuffing him with delight.

"What are you-"

And then it would all be over.

"We should brush up your skills, considering the Lady's poor broken feet from the wedding."

He doubted there would be a mortal after this that would be so incredibly unique, or a façade he would wish to take on so thoroughly.

A façade he now had trouble differentiating from.

He had thought that when Ciel died, Sebastian would die with him. A poetic notion that added to the beauty of the contract. That was true. But as he started living more through this personality he could feel him melding and living through the Phantomhive butler. This contract was like no other. Many generic mortals had he seen, bland souls he had tasted, humans making the same mistakes as their ancestors. He supposed it then made sense that it would affect him like no other, and it made him want to scorn himself and yet feel oddly comforted by the notion.

Sebastian calmly extended my hand, forcing back amusement as he watched his young lords flittering emotions flash across his face.

"May I have this dance?"

Ah, this was a fun day to mimic the past. He wondered if he was the only one who remembered.

He let the pause ride itself out, waiting as the Phantomhive made his decision. He finally conceded the boy was still to arrogant to do such a thing. He didn't bother feeling the slight disappointment, shutting the emotions off. It was getting in the way.

"I apologize for overstepping any professional bo--"

He quieted in shock when the Earl grabbed his hand, fingers nimbly wrapping through his own digits and handed him a exasperated look.

Of course the Earl would surprise him, that would never change. The butler briefly wondered if he did it to mock him.

Leading his ~~young~~  master into a waltz he marveled at how fragile this human was. He could feel the delicate ribs through the cloth, the smooth skin of that wrist, the delicate strands of hair swaying. It is so easily broken, shattered irreversibly. He watched as Ciel's blue eyes nervously flitted about. Physically, mentally, like a porcelain doll.

He glanced at the candles lighting up the room, muttering the words of years past like a hymn. 

_'Humans are a weak and shaky flame_

_that are easily swayed by a mere gust of tough wind_

_and that which can be distinguished much to swiftly and effortlessly._

_However those are the reasons why it is ever so beautiful.'_

 He remembered everything, even as the world turned to nothing he would remain. As the boys soul was ripped from him or his bones turned to dust he would remember.

Because mortals were ever so different from demons. His realm always continued, lazily changing with the times looking for food and entertainment.

He stared down into the blue eyes that copied the sky, seeing the cold steel and determination behind the surface.

But in the human world he had learned everything came to an end.

"How ephemeral." He whispered.

And the dance drew to a close.

 

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Day after day he thrives for the climaxes, violent showdowns, chaotic occurences. They were the most powerful duo, cruel, heartless, and ever so demonic.The beauty of destruction pleased his aesthetic senses, so he destroyed.

_"Kill them all."_

Fire roared, licking everything to ashes that dare stand against it.

_"Destroy this place."_

Water drowned out the pitiful screams and engulfed ships.

_"Finish it Sebastian!"_

Lightning snapped a tree, crashing and crushing bones of those below.

_"I want them dead."_

He enveloped his fists into warm bodies, trying to find a new way to make the blood spurt out.

_"Can you do it?"_

The demon smiled angelically.

_"There is no need to ask your servant to do a thing. Give me an order."_

Because he knew his answer would always be--

 

 

_"Yes my Lord"_

 

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Sebastian had never quite noticed nature before, only being in this realm for feasting. But as the butler wandered calmly through the manor halls, he paused and stared out the window taking in the glittering lights and darkened hues. 

"Quite beautiful isn't it? I see why we as humans have always romanticized the stars."

He swept into a bow,

"Lady Elizabeth."

only to be pulled into the air by unprecedented strength.

"No need for that Sebastian, you have known me since I was a child. Surely you do not treat Ciel with such formality as well?"

He pictured demanding eyes looking condescendingly down at him, mouth permantly formed in a scowl.

"....I dare say you might be surprised."

Green eyes glowed through the darkness, sparking with amusement.

"Of course he would do so. He tries to be so uptight, acting as an adult."

She grabbed the butler's hand dragging him to the kitchen.

"Now come I am in the mood for some of your lovely tea. Don't you dare lecture me about how late it is, I perfectly understand but I am old enough to decide to want some time for myself."

"But my Lord would be up-"

"Hush, what did I say? I care not a whit for what he thinks. Honestly, do not make me tell my mother that you are caging me."

At that he promptly shut his mouth, thinking back to the terrifying women aiming scissors at his bangs.

"Ah, works just as well on Ciel. Come, follow me."

With a small pause to give a quick huff of laughter, Elizabeth promptly dragged Sebastian to the pantry.

****************************************************************************************************

When they were both sitting comfortably (much to the horror of Sebastian, but Aunt Francais always won) on a picnic blanket staring at the stars, the butler resumed their conversation.

"My Lady, you do not think the Lord has grown up? Most would say he advanced far beyond his years a decade ago."

"Of course he is mature, I do not discredit my husband. But the fact he lusts over cake more than me will always have me perceive him 15 years younger."

Sebastian paused in sipping his tea, not knowing what to do with this new piece of information about his master.

"And please call me Elizabeth, I hope it will not take me as long to convince you as it was my husband to call me Lizzie."

They settled into silence once more observing the scenery. The dark sillouettes of oaks gently swayed in time with the warm summer wind. Vibrant green grass contrasted with the glow of orange tiger lillies. Tree's covered the hilly countryside that stretched for miles, the view especially visible from their perch in the garden. Everything was topped off by the silver light bathing his surroundings and golden twinkle of stars.

The demon marveled at how everything seemed to breathe, even still objects were teaming with life. His enhanced hearing picked up the constant sound, birds chirping, insects sending their calls, the noises soothing him. Yet he felt almost out of place, something so dead among the living. The contrast became quite apparent next to the always bubbly blonde-haired young woman.

"It is quite beautiful isn't it?"

"Yes it is."

He commited the moment to his endless memory, taking note of every detail. He lived long enough to know that this would soon change, erosion carving at the rocks, weeds taking over the plants, this manor crumbling to dust.

"My Lady-"

"Elizabeth."

"Lady Elizabeth," He ignored the girl's eye roll. "this will change. The beauty will fade with time, the valley eroding, species dying out, mighty towers turning to nothing. How could you enjoy something with the knowledge that it will soon disappear?"

She paused and stared at him, pursing her lips she sat quietly thinking of a reply. Finally petal lips parted.

"Who says that change is a bad thing?"

Sebastian cocked his head in question, signaling her to continue.

"Think about it, yes this valley will erode, but that could create picturesque mountains. Species may die out, but new more beautiful creatures will come to take their place. Mighty towers may fall, but that gives room for more development. Change is what makes this world endlessly entertaining, constantly giving us more things to enjoy. Think of the servants, they seem so happy now that they gave up their old positions. That was change. I am eternally joyful for the change from fiancée to wife to my dear Ciel. It is a beautiful thing, you just need to let go of the past."

He silently mocked himself at his freedom of speech, yet he still considered her words. Elizabeth Midford had always almost been as entertaining as his young master.

"But it is also something to be feared. The day will come when you, your husband and the rest of this household will all fade away. Forgive me if this is a bold thing to say my lady, but, as your butler, it would pain me greatly to witness such a thing." 

She paused and stared at him oddly. He could see something flash in those emerald orbs before she spoke her rebuttal.

"That is true, life tends to give us something nice with a price. You just learn to live within the moment I suppose."

She waved a hand out to the scene before us.

"Enjoy this while it lasts. All you can do is to keeping thinking of the present- with your mind so focused on it you can often forget how much it has changed. You understand that, do you not?"

It was laughable that an immortal had stooped as low as taking advice from an mortal of only twenty years, even if her words rang true. Do not these humans say that age comes with wisdom? But his life was terribly long with so little forms of entertainment such as this. It had taken a toll, he supposed, for Sebastian had a personality that he felt himself delighted in.

_How interesting._

He smiled at her, one with eyes glistening in hidden laughter and affection.

"We should speak like this more often my Lady."

"Elizabeth--and yes we should. It is  _interesting_ conversing with you Sebastian."

They sat there in peace, soaking in every detail.

 

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He found the Phantomhive out on one of the manor's many balconies, cigar in hand.

"My Lord, that cannot be good for your health."

Ciel raised an eyebrow.

"Where did you get such a notion? It is becoming commonplace to smoke."

"In this age, but humans will make some interesting discoveries in the future."

The Phantomhive tilted his head at the cryptic statement, but decided to let it drop in favour of another subject.

Sebastian watched a hand reach up and trace along a scar.

"I fear more repercussions to what happened."

The master took another drag of smoke. He admired the graceful motion as the Earl softly opened his lips to blow out wisps of dark clouds.

"My family could be endangered. I need to speak to you about a plan at a later date."

"Yes my Lord."

Blue eyes seemed dull compared to their owners youthful appearance, a defining feature the young man always had with him since childhood. The butler tilted his head to the side.

"Have you thought about releasing that collar of yours?"

"No. It is part of the duty handed down from generation to generation."

He flashed a blue ring.

"It is also a means to my revenge, a factor that will most likely end my life soon anyway."

Sebastian's hands tensed on the rail.

"You have lived this long."

"True."

Confusion swirled his mind as the boy puffed out another cloud of dark smoke. He watched blue hair flutter as the Phantomhive turned on his heel, gracefully walking back inside as he crushed the roll. Ciel paused at the doorway, seeming to think for a moment before casting a half hooded look over his shoulder.

  
"You did well Sebastian."

His eyes widened in indecreluty. The boy was beaten because of his mistakes and he was being praised? It seemed as if he was doing his job wrong all this time. 

He stiffened in shock as the boy reached forward and touched a lock of his hair. He parted his lips to say something but before he could mention a word the boy abruptly turned and cleared the final distance to the interior, shutting the door behind him.

The butler stood bewildered for a minute or so in the cold before remembering to get on with his duties. 

 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any type of feedback is most appreciated. I use your comments to help me improve, so don't leave me in the dark!


	3. The Final Act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ending to this tale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for staying with this story or just joining us to read it now. I really appreciate the support. I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> If you are just seeing this story I encourage you to read the whole series, as you might be a bit lost especially in this ending. I encourage you to go back and read the two oneshots preceding this so you have a more comprehensive understanding ^_^
> 
>  
> 
> *Thank you to my editor and endless supporter Evans3 who helped me get through this every step of the way. We have been emailing back and forth and honestly she is such a great help, I probably would have let this story die without her. Even if it is only three chapters the amount of times I ran into writer's block is insane. I hope you enjoy this!*

Lady Elizabeth was something different, the light to his young master. She seemed so sorrowful on some days, only wishing to take up the duty he already filled. She loved her fallen fiancé so much, willing to take up any duty for him, as proved by the murder she commited tonight.

Humans were such funny things, he even thought she would remain ever bright and innocent at times. Yet he has seen moments before where she has crashed, snapped, like an angel with broken wings, but in the end she had always found a way to fly.

She was not stupid, never stupid, but ignorant to the stench of death and evil permenating this manor, perhaps the one thing that could be true innocent happiness to the Phantomhive. She was beautiful, but an unessary decoration, for he had already turned his back on heavens and angels long ago locked behind a cage.

But now his outlook has changed. Sometimes he forgets how fragile mortals can be, and by her confessions she had made tonight it seemed that in the darkest hour she would be willing to grab that spider thread of escape and give it to her love.

She had smiled after that mans murder, had laughed and danced. She had found out about her fiancé's doings as the Queen's watchdog and still kissed him sweetly to sleep every night. She was willing to drown in his darkness, to follow him to hell if it meant she could gaze upon his smile.

At one time he would have laughed at her foolishness, but now he needed her more than ever. She could be a support, a trust, a protector for when he left. His role as a butler commanded him to alleviate the ongoing worries of his master, but he couldn't slack on his duties. He was to attached to this game, to it's king, to do such a thing.

He had asked her who will protect his master when he was gone, but he had already knew the answer.

He smiled as he heard the combined laughter of this ball's hosts as he walked out the side door.

Now, on to other preparations. He had a lot to do before he turned foot on this mansion, lest he want it to crumble by the other servants.  


  


___________________________________________________________________  


  


The butler stalled, walking through the estate and looking into every detail. He didn't know what he would do when he left, his plans rushed by his master's order, but he needed to think.

He could not end this contact, not so soon. He didn't know when his yearning to finish it had faded, but it had.

He contemplated never coming back, but that would be the same as killing the boy. It did not benefit him, either way they would be separated.

He wasn't preserving him for selfless reasons.

Sebastian moved over to the master's bedroom, slipping in and watching the creature shift in his sleep.

What was he hoping to accomplish?

He wanted to see his master to continue to face life, but with that collar wound so tightly he couldn't breathe and vengeance was always at the back of his mind.  How could he change such things, and did he want to?

  
Revenge was something he didn't want the boy to lose his ambitions for, for what was he without hatred? It was something that tainted his being so beautifully, just imagine how it would steep together with joy. But did he really have to worry about such a thing? His master was a gracefully tumultuous being, bowling through and accumulating power, it was only a matter of time befoe his list of suspects woud make an appearance. Then he can track them and regulate their actions, prolonging their time.

But that wasn't what was bothering his lord was it? No, he needed a way to contain that curse, have it end with his death, but was there a way to weaken the hold royalty has? Have it not carry on to his lineage? He needed to think up a plan, it was ridiculous that he had built up so long to his disappearance, yet had no clue as to what he would do when he did.

The young master shifted in his sleep.

But he needed to leave first, lest he had to fulfill the lord's suicide wish.

He placed a hand over a lavender eyes, withdrawing the magical scarring that showed it's prominence within the iris. He lifted one lid to check if the method had worked, stepping back once he confirmed only a matching eye remained.

He solemnly watched his own symbol fade to ashes, using the hand to tuck in the blankets tighter around his masters lithe form.

The butler walked immediately out of the house, for owning no material possessions he had no need to pack and taking care of the next mornings activities would only alert the servants. Unlike their seniors, the new ones hired were not as unquestionably loyal to him as they were the master. 

The demon simply stepped off the premises.

He found it somewhat odd that for all the time he chose to spend here, there was truly nothing visible holding him back.

There was no reason to return, yet he knew he would.

With one final glance around the demon disappeared with the darkness of night.

  


__________________________________________________________________________________________________

  


It was lonely, unbelievably so, even if he knew this work would assist him in the future. It reminded him of centuries spent sleeping in isolation, the boredom and helplessness nipping at him. He remembered wishing for heaven again, anything to break this monotony. He killed millions in his anger, feasting upon their infested souls, wanting them to be dragged down into despair with him.

At that time he had wished to be a angel, but now he reveled as a demon, something that could protect his household, possibly something that could preserve his master for eternity if he could give up that soul.

  
He still looked forlornly out the window of the peak at the church he momentarily took refuge in, staring at the midday crowds and bounced his fingers of his leg in mild annoyance. The wheels were already set in motion for his plan, but he still had to wait for a small while to carry out the final part.

Angry blue eyes popped into his vision.

Tomorrow, he reminded himself. Tomorrow he will kill the Queen. He had already talked to a few influential people and the creation of the Parliament of the United Kingdom should happen within the next three years, weakening any future hold the crown will have on the countries decisions. In a few years Ciel Phantomhive will be released, the power handed over to several policing groups, the Yard becoming something just to protect the general public. Then the only thing he would have to worry about is his master's constant tantrums.

So he waited.  


  


__________________________________________________________________________________________________

  


Sebastian carefully stalked through the palace, he couldn't have this look like an assassination, lest it come with unrest from the population possibly having his master as one to blame. He had a syringe of poison tucked away, a special thing that will speed up her deterioration and lead her towards some sort of fatal illness. No one will ever know the truth.

He rounded the corner, leading down towards the dining room, patiently lining himself behind a column in the hallway. He leaned forward, staring into the room, frowning in displeasure when he found Victoria flanked by her butler John Brown. He couldn't have any witnesses to this, or any other murders. The butler found a more secluded spot and sat to wait for the other butler's leave. For amusement he tuned into the words they were saying.

"What a loss it is to the crown to have to get a rid of such a studious worker. He always did he missions so well, a couple reprimands sure, but in the end loyal."

"Your Majesty, in my humble opinion, this had been coming for years now. He always had a habit of searching secrets better left hidden, plus there has been rumors he was searching for revenge on the people who killed his family. The results would have ended the same."

"I suppose. Do please go check on how the Double Charles are doing with their troops, I wouldn't want to much a fuss being created, lest this gets out to the public that the annihilation of the Phantomhive family was not by accident. They are still a popular business that interacts with the population. Royal officials will be introspecting these deaths."

Sebastian's throat closed, trying to think logically over the panic.

"Yes your Majesty, I will depart at once."

He silently waited until John Brown left, changing form and speeding to just behind the chair the Queen sat in at the cherry dining table. He grabbed the syringe from one of the inner pockets of his jacket, calmly pressing just the tip of the needle into her neck so she wouldn't notice. He pushed the fatal liquid slowly into her blood stream, pocketing the device one more and disappearing back out into the hallway.   


With the calmness that came with his planned mission falling away he felt terror paralyse him as he began sprinting his path back to the estate.

The Phantomhive manor was to burn to the ground again.

He imagined blue eyes turning to ash, leaving the earth as their parents. His memories seemed to reverse for him, the bloodied hand reaching out disappearing with the passing wind.

The butler made it to the manor in a matter of seconds, screeching to a stop as he stared in horror.

The whole first floor of the estate was burning, the orange flames licking their way up to the top, blackening stone and shattering glass. He immediately put it out, calling the fire with his finger towards the large pool of water in the back.

Everything was destroyed yet again.

He rammed in through the back, hurrying up the stairs to the office, the place the master would be in the moment according to the schedule. He slid around a corner, the sight causing him to pause.

Blonde hair was blackened with ashes, skin burnt into black. His eyes were dead, not unlike how he was when he killed, yet this time it was the reverse.

He checked the pulse anyway.

  


_I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you! I couldn't do anything but destroy. But you taught me how to grow! You made me from #12 into Finnian._   


  


He moved onto the next figure, her left eye completely bloodied, a bullet sunk within, the metal gleaming orange from the heat. Her pink hair was dyed red with the wound pouring out more and more liquid. Her body was a broken mess, her skinny waist twisted fully around from her awkward position and a white bone peaked through the skin on her knee.

  


_Young master bought these for me! My treasure, they are! And this maid uniform to. I'd never worn skirts or any such thing before I came here, so I'm happy to be a maid now!_

  


It was gruesome, but she had died an immediate death, shot and fallen from her perch on one of the indoor balconies. He tried to use that as some sort of comfort.

As he watched blushing cheeks and bright emerald eyes disappear and be replaced by blood, he couldn't help but imagine a small blue haired boy standing in the same place.

Sebastian continued up the stairs checking the rooms along the way. He found a body shredded to pieces in the bathroom tub, a cigarette smashed into his chest in disrespect.

  


_Guess I gotta get used to it, this kinda peaceful environment._

  


It appeared the fire had only made it to the first level.

He drew closer to the office and froze when he heard a groan. He let his hearing guide him into a spare bedroom and found Tanaka lied out on the floor, one leg twisted at an odd angle. He went over and touched the man's neck, lips pulling back slightly as he found a pulse. Still keeping his hand on that frail neck he reached down to check the wound across his chest.

He kept working even as he felt that heartbeat flutter to a stop.

  


_If someone means any harm against the Young Master in this mansion, no matter who they are, these servants will have no mercy on them._

  


The butler stood back up, forcibly numb, as he turned out the door. How could humans be so fragile?

  
He traveled down the hallway further, cold winds rushing through the broken glass. The gust rattled and howled, creating an eerie feeling and sense of dread.

He had now slowed to a walk, no longer wanting to speed towards his destination.

  
To the tragic end of this story.

  


He memorised this moment, reveling in the frozen feeling, the calm before the storm.

  


_You did well today Sebastian._   


  


Guilt, a tangible feeling now, gnawing and eating away at him. What if he never left? What if he came back sooner?  


  


_Young master, for you to say such a thing, I do not wish for the storm to come._

  


He stepped closer, his footsteps echoing over the roaring sounds. He came to the hallway of the office, shutting his eyes as he reached out for the handle. He gently grabbed the knob and rolled his wrist, still refusing to open his eyes as it swung open.

When he finally lifted his lids, he was greeted with an empty room. He looked and saw the Queen's insignia burned into the parchment paper of a letter, ignoring it in favor of checking around.

He walked inside held in a slight daze. Hope had begun to sprung that they escaped. That was right, it was one of the last things he did before he left, an escape plan. Him and the Lady could very well be alive, the servants protecting them to their last breath.

A scent caught his nose, a soft sweet one, a type of perfume coming in through the window.

It was mixed with iron.

He leaned out the main window, broken glass sticking into his palms. Blonde hair lied spread out on the concrete. In a swift motion, he braced his foot on the sill and jumped out to the ground below.

He landed on one knee beside the halo of gold observing the girl. She laid in a soft white dress spread out on her back, the material blowing with the wind. Her skin was as pale as ivory with the cold and blood loss. Her head was towards the sky, still striking emerald orbs staring straight ahead, soothing the butler with the notion that it was the last thing she saw before she died.

He fancied the idea of her last thoughts being on her fiancé.

Elizabeth looked as if she were a fallen angel, killed by her loyalty and pure love. He checked the wound in her stomach to see she died by a stabbing, the demon silently laughed in bitterness at the fact that it was probably her good friend, Charles Grey, who put it there.

  


_But Countess Phantomhive, who will protect him when I am unable to?_

_I will._   


  


She still clutched her bloodied sword.

With a calm softness he used with her since a child, he shut her eyelids. It was a redundant action, but he felt it nessesary.

Straightening his jacket he continued along the pathway of the garden, picking a white rose along the way, he thumbed the stem in his grasp not minding the thorns.

  


_Shall I let you have a moment of freedom before you are shackled?_

_His lips were soft with the warmth of fire. He could taste the bittersweet soul on his tongue._   


  


As he meandered to the edge of the property he found a patch of blood trailing it's path behind a tree. He followed it's trail to the final destination.

There was his young master.

He kneeled down and grabbed the skinny frame, pulling the body into a bridal style position against his chest, staring into blue eyes. It was odd to see one without lavender, something that for some deranged reason, made him feel invisible. He pressed his forehead aginst his cold one, protecting that still tiny figure from the wind. He grew, but could never rival his height.

  


_"You are still so small."_

_"I don't want to hear that from a demon who has stayed the same for centuries!"_   


  


It was all for nothing. This contract, his loyalty, his desire, all his efforts were for naught. Here he was now, holding the boy's corpse after everything he did.

  


_How much honey can I have with my milk?_

_Only two kinds of people exist in this world, those who steal and those who are stolen from._

_Pain tends to heal as time passes, but personally I do not want time to heal my wounds. You may think you've escaped the pain and moved on, but that's nothing more than stagnation. You can't move forward without the pain._

_You shall never betray me! You shall never leave my side no matter what!_

_You have done well today Sebastian._

_This has nothing to do with the fact that you play piano the best?_

_You showoff, of course you would take care to rub my limitations in my face._   


_I do not wish to die Sebastian, I wish to escape._

_You do not know the meaning of simple do you?_

_Sebastian this is an order, you have one month to find the people who caused me shame and carry out my revenge._   


  


Everything was disappearing, ashes and dust marring the glistening memories. It was myriad of emotions that hit him then with the numbness of shock fading. His position was gone, his soul disappeared, his humans deceased, every moment that set fire in him from his contract had left him. He felt as if he should cry and scream, that would be a very human thing to do, yet he was apathetic, unable and unworthy to break.

So he only cracked.

This empty shell in his arms was hideous, revolting. His death did not have the poetic ending such as Lady Elizabeth, or the brave courage of the servants, something that could make the demon let him go. The soul he had once beheld was so beautiful, white innocence filled with a steady core of black corruption swirled with violet hatred and tinted in blue tragedy. It lit up his face, poured emotions into his eyes, animated his limbs, kept that steady heart beat going. For what was a soul without Ciel and Ciel without his soul?     


The crack grew larger, just ever so slightly.

  
The demon lay back against the tree trunk and hugged the body of the Earl closer. He imagined the life being sucked out of him, pretending for a moment to be mortal, for Sebastian Michealis was fading away with Ciel Phantomhive, but he didn't want to let go quite yet. Blue eyes resonated in the forefront, the familiar feeling of a steady breath wrapping his consciousness through the contract as dual toned eyes laid to rest. A smile perked on his lips.

It truly was all for nothing, but he did not regret it.

  


  


 

The butler set a kiss on pale lips and stood up from his post and walked away.

  


  


The demon never looked back.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so glad to have this story/series finished. It was way overdue. I now can focus more on my current ongoing story now that this and my prompt is out of the way. My interest with this world was fading rapidly. I am still glad I wrote this, because I learned ALOT in writing relationships, characters etc. but I am also happy to see it's end. 
> 
> *Still am contemplating writing a short sequel oneshot or chapter though, it depends if the inspiration will ever come back. I do plan on going through this whole series and doing basic little clean ups, so it's quality should go up the longer it is posted.*
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this story and reading this series! Thank you so much for all the fans who have stuck with this, either vocal or hiding in the hits XD
> 
> Please leave kudos if you enjoyed this and leave any sort of constructive feedback below!

**Author's Note:**

> I do not know how to feel about this. First time writing any sort of romance and I do not know how well it turned out. By forcing Ciel back in character I think I made Sebastian quite OOC. I really wanted this to turn out good, since I am quite proud of the first one and put a lot of time into the second story. I originally didn't mean for this to be split up into two chapters, but it already extremely long so it could not be helped.
> 
> Tidbits:  
> \- the dahlia Sebastian handed the picture meant gratitude. The color orange represents warmth and happiness, offering emotional strength in difficult times and helps others bounce back from disappointments and despair, assisting in recovery from grief. I thought it appropriate to the character.  
> -The girl in the photo was represented after my 12 year old self. Of course being two years older now I look slightly different, but I could not help but place myself within the story when I saw the chance.
> 
> *Please leave feedback in the comments. I have to say I struggled with some of these scenes and could really use your input as readers. If I can find enough to fix, I will post up another refurbished addition.*


End file.
